What I Found.

I cheated on you,
just to see if I could.
And I found something,
I could.

I found
no regret
and adventure.

Everyone treated me the same,
because no body knew.
It was my grandest creation,
this secret life I had.

I found my desperation
to be loved
in someone else.

And we reached
a sort of understanding
deep within each other.

We touched,
in a way we never had before
with anyone else.

Because we both knew
that to love each other,
to stay with each other,
would be too much for the both of us.

And so we would remain
how we always were,
holding each other's love
in our hearts,
like a candle lit briefly
but blown out by the wind around us.





   A short note on this poem: I have never cheated on anyone I have been with.  However, through different character creations I came up with this girl.  She could be anyone, male or female, at any point time. I love the dynamics of human choices and despite my personal objections, this is one of my favorite poems.  Simply because it is innocent and honest and can be read a thousand different ways.  I hope you enjoy and understand why this was written.
   (I usually don't explain my work, but I feel this piece needed to be explained.)

What my Brain looks like.....

Doodles I did during class and a meeting.... (sorry they be backwards)

Frederic

The beginning of a character introduction for Frederic (the title character for my newest story).  I'm currently working on Rasha's journey to Frederic, but I wanted to get down some ideas for his introduction.  This is still a very rough sketch for him, and most of it inspired by one of the horses I work with at school.

   The horse was fire in the flesh.  His coat soaked in the sunlight and it rippled over his muscles like silk.  He tossed his mane proudly, flattened his ears and charged her.
   Rasha rolled out of the pen and watched between the planks of wood as the horse tossed his head and ran around the ring.  He was full of spirit and was by far the most gorgeous horse she had ever seen in her entire life.
   She smiled and climbed back through the planks of wood.  The horse watched her from the other side of the ring, his ears still flat against his head in anger.
   "You're not as tough as you think you are," Rasha told him.  The horse's ears snapped forward and he looked at her.  She laughed, "Yeah, that's what I thought."  She took the rope from her belt and let it run through her fingers, smoothly looping it into a neat coil in her left hand.  "Come here beautiful."
   She could feel the eyes of all the hostlers on her, but she kept her eyes on the horse, looking away whenever they made eye contact.  Rasha moved towards him, keeping on her toes and watching every muscle, trying to predict what his next would be.
   The horse charged, his ears flattened again.  Rasha threw the rope over his ears and looped it over his nose.  The horse stopped in his tracks and turned to charge her again.  But Rasha grabbed the rope over his face and twisted it.  He stopped.
   Keeping one hand on the rope around his face, she threw the free end over his neck and tied it under his chin.  She pushed away hid open mouth and jumped lightly onto his back.  He leapt forward, Rasha kept her hands firm and her legs light on his body and soon he had calmed.  She turned him to the gate, "Open it," she told the man standing there.  His trot was swift and smooth out of the city and as soon as they were in the open fields Rasha released her hold on him and they set upon the land, racing the wind.

The Water People

   It was the last glimpse of water she would ever see, in her heart she knew this.  She had grown up on the water, in the water.  It was in her blood, one of the Water People.
   But they were taking everyone, it had started quietly.  First, the elders would slip into the water and never resurface.  The men and women would follow, their feet would step off the boats and onto the dirt in the dead of night, leaving their children to fend for themselves.  The teens became scared when the babes disappeared.  They had posted guards, settled in the deepest portions of the water where no land could be seen anywhere around them.  Still the small ones had vanished.  All that was left of the Water People was a group of 3 boys and 5 girls, all between the ages of 16 and 22 years old.  But eventually, they came for them too.
   Tashia walked quietly next to Wairin.  They were the two oldest and the others looked to them for direction.  There had been some struggle, the Water People were proud people, but in the end there was no use to fight against them.
   She studied their captors as they pushed them into vans that were parked at the top of the docks.  They were dressed as though they were going into combat, shadowed face guards prevented her from making eye contact with any of them.  She braided her long golden brown hair as they began driving, the strands of her hair falling through her fingers calmed her thoughts.
   She made eye contact with each person in the van: Wairin, Nadia, Kyler, Bennigan, Ras, Ribah, and Nakhira. There were glimpses of pride and fear reflected in each of them.

Daddy's Tears

I saw daddy crying
he was sitting on the couch
and he thought
no one was around.

But I stood in the doorway
as the tears fell
from his eyes.

I walked over to him
and kissed his cheek,
because mommy says
kisses make everything better.

And it must have worked
because daddy smiled
and hugged me
and told me he loved me.

But I already knew that.


I didn't understand
but the years passed and
I learned the lesson
all too well.

As I sat on my couch,
tears falling from my eyes.

I felt a little kiss on my cheek,
and I wrapped my arms
around my son
and told him I loved him.

And he told me he already knew that.

Simply [poem]

We share a
beautiful understanding
rooted within a
deep misunderstanding
of the world around us.
And we call this place
love.
On the corner of
misery and hope
in the town of
unbearable.
And I wouldn't
want to be
anywhere else,
with anyone else.

that girl.

I'm that girl
they write about
in country songs,
that can bring
a man to his knees.

I'm that girl
standing in the doorway
with tears
in her eyes.

I'm that girl
serenading her steering wheel
wishing that one
special boy
was sitting next to her.

I'm that kind of girl
that cries herself to sleep,
and can't look herself
in the eye.

I'm that girl
that will face
up to her fears,
and stare down
her doubters.


I'm that girl
they write
songs about.